I recently read No: Why Kids — of All Ages — Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It by David Walsh, PhD. I heard Dr. Walsh on a radio talk show and the neighborhood branch of our library had his book, so I picked it up.

What I Liked

My favorite part of the book was probably the end of the chapters. Each chapter closed with lists of mostly practical things to do and not do. While the lists are certainly not exhaustive (they couldn’t be), I find concrete steps helpful.

In general, the book seemed to mesh well with common sense and the child development I studied in high school psych. The book didn’t advocate anything too outrageous- it is suggesting an authoritative not authoritarian parenting style. It promotes a "let the punishment fit the crime" style of consequences, and I like that too. There were various chapters that dealt with different stages and situations as well as the impact of media.

One particular topic I appreciated was his discussion of parents and teachers. I tended to get along with my teachers a lot, so I don’t have many memories of my parents needing to back up a teacher. However, I have an appreciation for the difficulties that teachers face when working with other people’s children. I think it is important for parents and teachers to be on the same team, and parents need to take an active role in their children’s education rather than expecting teachers to take all the responsibility for making children learn.

What I Didn’t Like

The book is written from a secular perspective, so I disagree with some of the basic assumptions. For example, disobedience tends to be portrayed as a consequence of unmet needs, brain formation, or some other natural (and probably excusable) reason rather than sinfulness.

It was a little heavy on the anecdotes and stories for my taste. I was also annoyed with his constant urging to "avoid power struggles" without much explanation of alternatives.

Conclusion

It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t good enough that I plan on referring to it again. There are probably better books on the topic, so I don’t particularly recommend this one (perhaps something by Dr. Kevin Leman or James Dobson).